If I won the Powerball drawing
Currently, the Powerball jackpot stands at a record $340 million.
Hmmm… what would I do if I were to win?
- Yeah, I’d quit my job.
- $34 million to my church. (If they’d accept it, being gains from gambling.)
- I’d hire an accountant, an auditor to watch the accountant, and a lawyer.
- I figure anywhere from 25% to 50% will be lost to taxes. So, I’d disregard $170 million.
- I’d put half the remainder in a savings account and begin to draw interest.
- I’d invest half of that remainder in the stock market.
- I’d spend the remaining $34 million dollars thusly:
- Move to North Carolina.
- Buy acres and acres of land.
- Hire an architect.
- Have him design and oversee the construction of my dream home.
- Buy a huge new home for my sister and brother-in-law.
- Buy a yacht.
- Take my mother on a cruise/trip anywhere in the world she wants to go.
- Build her a home anywhere she wants, complete with security system, handicapped amenities and staff, to clean up after her and P.C. (her cat).
- Wavefront Guided IntraLASIK.
- Cosmetic dentistry.
- Hire a chef to help me lose weight without making food taste like cardboard, and teach me how to cook.
- Hire Stacy, Clinton and Nick to re-do my “style”.
- Buy a Power Mac G5 with all the trimmings.
- Buy a maroon Saturn Vue, again with all the trimmings.
- Go back to college to get my Masters in American History (or Political Science, I’m not sure which), then my Doctorate.
- Hire a matchmaker.
- Fall in love.
- Have kids.
- Learn to play golf.
- Be active in my new, local church.
- Donate to the occasional charity, relief effort and/or political campaign.
You might notice that I’ve left my nephew out of the disbursal. I’d certainly be willing to provide a safety net for him, but he’s an young, single adult and still has his entire life ahead of him. If he wanted to go to college, I’d help, but it’d be contingent on his grades. Then, maybe when he’s older I’d be more generous. He’d certainly be included in my will.
In all, this hypothetical question is really asking, “What would you do with your life if money was no object?” I’d like to think that I’d balance the remainder of my life between indulging my fantasies, appreciating family and giving back to society.
No worries, though, I seldom, if ever, play the lottery. I agree with the adage that the “lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.”
February 19th, 2006 at 12:57 am
You could always, y’know, buy me a laptop, too.
I wouldn’t mind.
February 19th, 2006 at 2:35 am
You didn’t mention anyyyyyything about traveling?!
February 19th, 2006 at 2:47 am
You don’t think I’d send my Mom off traveling by herself, do you? Besides, where am I going to live while my dream house is being built?
Although, come to think of it, I’d spend a month in and around the District of Columbia and visit every historical monument, museum and significant government building I could think of. I’d also like to spend some time in Europe, where I’ve never been before.
February 20th, 2006 at 11:20 am
You know, I’ve been thinking, and if I’m that rich, I’m not so sure I’d go back to college.
March 5th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Office Space moment: (from memory)
“Laurence, what would you do if you had a million dollars?”
“I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: Two chicks at the same time.”
“Two chicks at the same time?”
“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to do that and I figure a dude with a million dollars could hook something like that up.”
Charles,
Do you think giving millions of dollars to your church wouldn’t mess it up? Money does weird things to people — more so to large groups of people. Perhaps it would be better to set up a trust for the church and let them draw on the interest over time for this or that project. You could be very specific about the ways in which they could use the money.
I’m saying this in all seriousness as if, you know, any of us is actually going to win. I found out the other day that, in order to win the lottery, one has to actually buy a ticket. You can imagine my disappointment!
-Allen