How to tell a full-blooded, dipped-in-the-bayou Cajun from someone who just wishes he was.
1. Did your grandmother regularly eat couche-couche for breakfast?
2. Does your father consider a six-pack of beer and a pound of boudin to be a seven-course meal?
3. Does your grandmother bellyache all week long – until Saturday, when she steps out with the best of them cutting a fine two-step?
4. If the doctor told you coffee causes cancer, would you rather take your chances than do without it?
5. Could you paddle a pirogue 20 miles an hour down a straight stretch of stump-free bayou?
6. Is there a Tee-Jean, a Tee-Man or a Tee-Boy among your uncles?
7. Have you always called your uncle by his “Tee” name – and forgotten his real one?
8. Are you related to your next-door neighbor?
9. Does someone in your family know how to treat sunstroke, the “waste-away sickness” or “Indian fire”?
10. Can you remember when you hated to tell strangers you’d eaten crawfish for dinner because it was inelegant and everybody knew only Cajuns ate crawfish?
11. Look closely at the wedding photograph of your grandmother. Was he bridal bouquet made of crepe paper?
12. If someone stepped on your toe, would you instinctively yell “Oh. Yee-Yii!” instead of “Ouch!”?
Give yourself one point for every “yes” answer.
||Full-blooded Cajun, 24 karat.
||Can’t be considered a real Cajun, and it is understandable that you may be wrestling with the pains of an identity crisis.
||Not even in the ball game.